Winter Solstice 2010

Last year, one of the events that really changed my kink life was "Winter Solstice" 2009. It was held at the Black Phoenix club down in Philly. Some of you may remember me raving about it when I came back. I met some amazing people, solidified some new relationships, and found a sense of community that I had not felt before. I was very new to the public scene and I felt welcomed with open arms and got tons of playing and learning in. I had attended a couple of events before but this was the first one where I really started to feel comfortable.

I was and am very saddened that Black Phoenix was forced to shut down a few months back. I miss being able to take the short drive down to enjoy the club and the folks I got to know that weekend. As weeks turned into months, I began to fear that there would be no Winter Solstice this year.

I am thrilled to say I was DEAD WRONG:

Winter Solstice is on.

Winter Solstice is even closer by, in Edison, NJ.

Winter Solstice will be taking over an entire hotel. Can you say kinky, naked pool party?

Winter Solstice will have a killer Play Space...

Winter Solstice will have a fabulous New Year's Eve Party!

Winter Solstice has lots of classes. For instance, the most Awesome Del is teaching "The Top of the Boot: Boot Play for Tops"

Description: When you sit down to get your boots blacked, do you understand what your part of the exchange is supposed to be, other than tipping for good work? Does your sub love to kiss and lick your boots, but you're not sure how to receive this worship? Del has learned to accept boot worship, to turn boot care into its own scene, and how to say thank you with that steel toed love. The Top of the Boot will cover all of these sorts of scenarios, in addition to basic kicking, boot humiliation, and other fun things that can be done with a leather-clad foot. Finally, if you're a good class (and the demo bottom is willing), we'll let you watch a hot bootfucking!

Jay Wiseman will be doing a CPR class and Pyro Sadist will be teaching you how to set people with his usual style and finesse.

Where the fuck do I sign? Oh wait, I already did!

It's going to be a great event. I hope you all decide to join me and the great Black Phoenix crew in ringing in the New Year right.

Freak?

From Webster's online:

Main Entry: freak
Pronunciation: \ˈfrēk\
Function: noun
Etymology: origin unknown
Date: 1563

1 a : a sudden and odd or seemingly pointless idea or turn of the mind b : a seemingly capricious action or event
2 archaic : a whimsical quality or disposition
3 : one that is markedly unusual or abnormal: as a : a person or animal having a physical oddity and appearing in a circus sideshow b slang (1) : a sexual deviate (2) : a person who uses an illicit drug c : hippie d : an atypical postage stamp usually caused by a unique defect in paper (as a crease) or a unique event in the manufacturing process (as a speck of dirt on the plate) that does not produce a constant or systematic effect
4 a : an ardent enthusiast (film freaks) b : a person who is obsessed with something (a control freak)


So why am I ASecretFreak? For as long as I can remember, I have felt a little "freakish" and out of place. As a teenager growing up in small town Vermont in the late 70's, already leaning towards being Queer, this feeling grew. My childhood was really chaotic and for some reason, I just got sucked into desperately wishing for a "normal" life. Conventional job, house, 2.2 kids, picket fence, golden retriever.... All destined to keep this dark and kinky soul feeling more and more freaky and isolated inside. For approximately 33 years, I tried to pursue this dream. When I first began to explore my darker desires, "Asecretfreak" was the name I picked for my online persona. It reflected my feeling of secretly being "one that is markedly unusual or abnormal" or "a sexual deviant".

Much has happened since I began this journey. I found a warm and welcoming community of kindred spirits. I found that elusive sense of belonging I sought by rejecting my "secret freak" and trying to assimilate, came to me only when I instead embraced it.

The label "freak" still resonates for me. I can't share my kinky side with everyone I know. I must still fly under the radar when appropriate, which, let's face it, is most of the time. My new friends are sympathetic, trying to reassure me that I'm ok. "You're not a freak. or "Why do you call yourself that?" I am reluctant to relinquish the label. I feel a desire to reclaim the term as a positive rather than a pejorative. There are other words, like Queer, Geek, Dyke, Slut... all describe me at times. At this point, I'm proud to use them, at least when I am in the company of my friends.

From the definition above, I like "ardent enthusiast", which describes me pretty well when it comes to kink. I also like idea of "a whimsical quality or disposition". I find my self thinking of the concept of "letting your freak flag fly", or the song, "Super Freak".

I may not be quite so secret anymore, but I'm still a freak.
A happy freak, having found that I am not alone.

Hot Poetry: Rachel McKibbens and Marty Mcconnell

Favorite lines:

"I want to fuck you so loudly the neighbors cum in their sleep."
"I just want a dirty little stepbrother to crawl into the attic with"
"Let's fuck like two pigs being dragged to slaughter."
"I want to do things that are only legal because nobody thought of passing a law against them."

Float....

Well, the freak has been busy doing everything but blogging it seems. Leather Retreat, TESFest, and now heading out to Floating World. Life has been good for me.

In the same time, I have seen two major clubs close down on the East coast; DFP, and my beloved Black Phoenix. Both are now slated to re-open after improvements have been made, but it is a sad state of affairs nonetheless. The sadness is compounded by the divisive bickering and drama that has surrounded these events. Other clubs and kink related businesses in NYC, including Purple Passions and Paddles are struggling. This week we have lost a major luminary of the community Jack McGeorge, whom I am sorry to say I never had the good fortune to meet. Life has been hard for many of us.

This weekend, at Floating World, more than 1200 of us will come together. There will be the celebration of a wedding. There will be a memorial service for the man our community has lost. Old friends will see each other again, new friends will be made. A safe space has been created for all of us to let our "freak flags fly" for a precious few days.

My wish for all of us: I hope that this time will be a time where we all strengthen our bonds to each other and come together in fellowship. Where we take the time to mentor and welcome the newcomers into the fold as well as celebrate our relationships to those known to us. Where we learn, teach, nurture, grow, love, fuck, remember, celebrate, and play, and play, and play some more.

Life is short. Drink deep.

Eric Swartz's [2004] protest song, "Keep Your Jesus Off My Penis"

I just could not resist this with Pride week coming up. Old but still completely relevant. Came to me off a tweet from Kate Bornstein.

Check out more about Eric at: http://www.ericschwartz.com/
Happy Pride!

NYC Kink-a-Go-Go

What a wild weekend of play is up this weekend in NYC. Suspension at China 1 at 9 PM tonight, LSM Panel on "Family Dynamics – Mommies, Daddies, Little Boys and Girls" at the GLBT Center at 8 PM and Switch at Paddles at 10:30 PM on Friday. TES Novice excursion at 9:30 PM at Chelsea Gallery Diner this Saturday, TES Sock Hops and Acid Trips party at 10:30 PM at Paddles this Saturday. NY Boys of Leather at Stonewall on Saturday night. Instigate on Sunday at 5:30 PM at the GLBT Center.

If you are bored this weekend, you are not easily amused.

News Flash... BP just may be perfect now.

They have added hot water and done significant expansions of the bathrooms at Black Phoenix. The place may just be perfect now.... :-) Heading off to enjoy Kinko de Mayo.